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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23222542">Sensitivity</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lil_pianissimo/pseuds/lil_pianissimo'>lil_pianissimo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Durarara!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Aromantic, Asexual Character, Attempted Sexual Assault, Boomshakalaka, Ghosts, I don't really know where I'm going with this, Izaya has sociopathic tendencies, Izaya is ACE, Izaya is sensitive, M/M, Mystery, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, it's just fun for me</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 11:23:00</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,168</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23222542</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lil_pianissimo/pseuds/lil_pianissimo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>For as long as he could remember he has been able to experience things other people couldn’t. Ever since he was a little boy he would see things that didn’t fit or talk to things that weren’t there. He just knew things that regular people shouldn’t know.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>92</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is something I wrote for my own enjoyment. I honestly have no idea where it's going so buckle up buttercup. Enjoy morbid mayhem.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For as long as he could remember he has been able to experience things other people couldn’t. Ever since he was a little boy he would see things that didn’t fit or talk to things that weren’t there. He just knew things that regular people shouldn’t know.</p><p>Izaya’s first coherent memory of his sensitivity was when he was four years old. His family owned a mortuary, so throughout his childhood there were dead people rolling in and out of his house. He had grown familiar with the many shapes a cadaver could take by the time he was two, but he was never allowed down into the morgue. </p><p>One day, his ever-growing curiosity bit him and he snuck down into the basement while his parents were fighting in the kitchen. He remembers tiptoeing down the creaky hardwood steps and the icy cold of the tile as he reached the bottom. The room had been spotless and gray, with four medical tables lined up under strident white lights, and a wall full of tiny stainless-steel doors. He had suddenly felt chilly, like he had walked into a meat freezer. The lights had buzzed off and suddenly he was left in a dark, freezing room, alone, with nothing but embalmed corpses in their steel boxes. Izaya had caught a glimpse of black shifting in the darkness and turned to see a shadow stretched in the corner of the morgue. To some it might seem like a trick of the mind, but somehow he knew it was something more.<br/>

It was tall and didn’t have much shape, but it was darker than the rest of the inky blanket around him. He felt a knot form in his throat and his chest felt heavy. He couldn’t breathe. The figure lifted an arm agonizingly slow and pointed to one of the doors on the wall. In his terrified state, Izaya crept over to the door and stared at his dark reflection in the silver steel as his eyes started adjusting. He didn’t dare turn around because he could feel the heavy figure breathing down his neck. He heard a faint whisper.</p><p>He was just about to open the door when the lights turned on and his parents ran down the stairs and over to him.</p><p>His mother had grabbed him by the shoulders, “Izaya!” She had said. “What on earth are you doing? You know you aren’t supposed to be down here!”</p><p>“We have to open the door.” He had responded. His mother looked concerned.</p><p>“What are you talking about, honey?” She had asked gently.</p><p>He turned to the door, “There’s someone trapped in there.” His father and mother shared looks of concern as his father slowly opened the metal door.</p><p>Inside was a body with a white sheet over it; the only things showing were the feet with a tag on the right big toe.</p><p>“Son, there’s nothing in here.”</p><p>“Who is that?” He remembers asking.</p><p>His father had sighed, annoyed. “We don’t know, Izaya. He doesn’t have a name.”</p><p>He cocked his head in puzzlement, “What do you mean?”</p><p>He groaned and his mother had chimed in, “It means that no one claimed the body, so it’s a John Doe.”</p><p>“His name isn’t John. It’s Asura.” His parents had ignored his misunderstanding of the term and instead stared at him in confused concern.</p><p>“Where did you make up something like that?” His father questioned.</p><p>“I didn’t. He told me.”</p><p>“Honey, what are you talking about?”</p><p>“Asura Tao. That’s his name. You can tell because he has a birthmark on the back of his neck. It looks like a spade.”<br/>
His father ran and grabbed the sheets of information that were on all of the bodies in the morgue until he found what he was looking for, but he looked as if he hoped he wouldn’t.</p><p>“How did you know that?”</p><p>“He told me.”</p><p>And that was all he remembered. His parents never discussed it and he never talked about it. He later found out that the man in the box was a lowlife informant for the Chinese mafia and had backstabbed one of its syndicates. He was tortured and left trapped in a room full of very, very hungry rats.<br/>

Oh, the irony.</p><p>	Izaya chuckled as he sat restrained in a chair. He received a harsh backhand to the face in response.</p><p>“Shut the hell up! Tell us what you know!”</p><p>He rolled his head back and smirked as blood filled his mouth, “I though you wanted me to shut up?”</p><p>He earned another slap for his retort and spit blood onto the floor, “If I hear one more smartass comment from you, bitch, I’m going to gauge out your eyes with this pen!”</p><p>He chuckled lowly, “Oh, a pen! So scary!”</p><p>The man growled, “Why you--!”</p><p>“Hey, Carrier-san, how long are you going to brood in the dark for?” With that comment, the man turned to the back entrance where the Black Bike herself was waiting.</p><p>The man freaked out, “What the hell?!” He tried to attack her, but to no avail. She easily dodged him and kicked him behind the knees. As soon as he fell forward she cut him with her scythe and sliced through the others in the room observing his planned torture.</p><p>She approached him and cut him free. He rubbed his wrists, “On brand as always, Celty-san.”</p><p>She typed away at her translator.</p><p>'Why did you let yourself get kidnapped?'</p><p>He read the screen and looked back to her, “It’s business, Celty. Those imbeciles were telling me everything I needed to hear.”</p><p>'But you knew you would be tortured.'</p><p>He found her ignorance humorous and laughed at what he read. “Dearest, Black Rider, I have undergone much graver punishment than the likes of this.” Celty stood silent as the informant turned over his shoulder and walked away.</p><p>	As he has gotten older he became less sensitive to the paranormal. He still felt things, heard things, but didn’t see them as often as he used to.</p><p>He knocked on the door. Shinra opened it and put on a fake smile, “Oh, Izaya! You look good! What have you been doing?”</p><p>“Blood and bruises suit me, no?”</p><p>“I’m not used to seeing so much damage to your face. There was that time you got a black eye, but even you seemed to pull that off.”</p><p>“It’s the arrogance, I assure you.”</p><p>Shinra led him to the living room, “So, what situation did you put yourself in this time?”</p><p>He smirked, “Drug bust. They wanted information on their competitors to try and get the upper hand.”</p><p>The doctor placed a cotton ball of antiseptic on the corner of his busted lip as he winced, “Let me guess, you didn’t give it to them did you?”</p><p>“I wouldn’t give out information on my boss without pay.”</p><p>“Of course not. Silly me. How could I forget how you morally function.”</p><p>Izaya’s smirk fell slightly as he observed Shinra’s irritation, “Well, you seem more prickly than usual. Has Celty denied services from you?”</p><p>“Has it ever crossed your mind that I might be sick of your shit?”</p><p>His smirk fell completely, “I’m sure it wouldn’t be the first time you’ve been sick of me.”</p><p>“Izaya, I genuinely consider you a friend, and I know that you don’t think so, but it bothers me when you willingly put yourself in danger.”</p><p>“This has never been an issue in our relationship before.”</p><p>“Believe it or not, it’s always been an underlying issue.”</p><p>He shrugged, “So, are we going to play a game where you try to convince me to change my ways and I am magically influenced to do so by the power of friendship?”</p><p>“No, I don’t give a shit what you do.”</p><p>“You’re contradicting yourself, Shinra.”</p><p>He sighed, “That’s not the point, Izaya.”</p><p>“Your point is not to stop putting myself in harm’s way?”</p><p>“I just want to see you do something else with your life.”</p><p>Izaya laughed, “Like what? Ghost hunting?”</p><p>“I meant normal things. You know, for as long as I’ve known you I have never seen you genuinely happy.”</p><p>He chuckled a little uncomfortably now, “I’m always content.”</p><p>“Content is not happy, Izaya. You put on a front for people and that’s all fine and good, but where is the humanity in you? You do these reckless things and one day it’s going to get yourself killed unless you find another outlet for your need for stimulation.”</p><p>“It sounds a lot like you’re trying to convince me to have sex, which I assure you I don’t need.”</p><p>He set down his supplies, “Have you ever had sex, Izaya?”</p><p>Izaya flushed slightly at the accusation, “Frankly, Shinra, I don’t think that’s any of your business—”</p><p>“You haven’t. I know you haven’t because you’re afraid of intimacy.”</p><p>“Even though you are completely wrong, I’ll take the bait. How do your observation skills prove your point?”</p><p>“You aren’t a bad person by nature, Izaya. You’re stunted. You’ve never understood love and I want to see you with somebody who cares about you.”</p><p>“That’s impossible, Shinra.”</p><p>“No, it’s not. You just need to believe that somebody will.”</p><p>Izaya couldn’t take this anymore. He got up abruptly, “Well, as much as I enjoy your parental lecture on how I should live my life, I am a very busy man and need to get back to work.”</p><p>“Izaya, you have a fractured rib—”</p><p>He opened the door, “I’ve had worse injuries than the likes of this. I’m sure it will heal fine on its own.” With that, he left the underground doctor as he called out to him. He pretended he couldn’t hear him.</p><p>	It took a lot to irritate Izaya, let alone piss him off. In what world did Shinra find the audacity to criticize his life choices? He was very much aware of the danger his job brought, but if he was good at it, so why stop? If he simultaneously fueled his adrenaline addiction in the process? Well, he was just killing two birds with one stone.</p><p>He opened the door to his apartment and slammed it shut behind. Namie peered up from her computer screen at the sudden noise, “What’s wrong with you?” She asked even though Izaya knew she could care less.</p><p>The raven turned to the demented secretary and plastered on a devious grin, “Am I paying you to pester me, or do my work for me?”</p><p>She scowled, “I’m only working here so you’ll keep quiet.”</p><p>Exactly his point, “An eye for an eye, Namie, dear.” She groaned as Izaya stripped off his jacket and threw it on the back of his couch.</p><p>He heard shuffling, “I’m leaving. Now that you’re here you can take care of your own shit.”</p><p>Izaya waved a hand dismissively, “Personable as always, Namie-chan. Have fun being a stuck-up bitch elsewhere.” He smiled joyfully as she existed with a huff, but as soon as she was gone his façade fell.</p><p>Izaya sighed as he flipped around and plopped down onto the cushions of his couch. It wasn’t comfortable, they were mostly for show, but he could care less that he was laying on leather bricks. He admitted, regretfully, that Shinra probably at a point. On the other hand, his walls were put up for a reason. He didn’t understand emotions to their full extent and that made him vulnerable. Vulnerability made him weak and being weak meant that he was an easy target. He refused to be that easy to read.</p><p>He got up from his spot on the couch and trudged over to the kitchen; he would not be seen as a liability. Izaya reached for a bottle of gin, if being isolated meant security then so be it. He poured his first glass of the night and took a drink; his way of handling things was unhealthy, he knew, but he’s gotten this far in life with his loopholes, so why fix what isn’t broken?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This next part is a flashback, but for some reason it won't let me italicize the words. If anybody knows how to do that let me know. Please and thank you.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Shinra, I really don’t like this.” Izaya said as they walked through the basement of their middle school with flashlights in hand.</p><p>The boy laughed, “Come on, Izaya! Where is your sense of adventure? I thought you would like stuff like this! Aren’t you the rebel bad boy?”</p><p>“We are breaking and entering! And I’m not a rebel, I am just incapable of processing certain emotions which comes across as defiant and egotistical to most people.”</p><p>“Oh, so the persona comes from your sociopathic tendencies!” Shinra pointed out as he looked Izaya up and down.</p><p>“Don’t dissect me with your eyes. That’s weird.”</p><p>“I was doing no such thing. Shut up.” Shinra suddenly squealed, “Here it is! I didn’t think it was real!”</p><p>“Great. We saw the legendary bathrooms. Can we go home now? It’s freezing down here.” </p><p>Shinra smirked as Izaya rubbed his arms, “Is the Great Izaya Orihara scared?”</p><p>He huffed, “Of course not! This whole thing is stupid! There’s no way this story is even true. It’s too extravagant.”</p><p>The brunette plugged his nose and started teasing a nasally voice, “Oh, look at me! I’m Izaya Orihara and I’m afraid of abandoned urinals!”</p><p>“I don’t sound like that—”</p><p>“I only know how to feel fear and be a wittle chicken!”</p><p>“You’re so immature—"</p><p>“BAWK BAWK! CHICKEN!”</p><p>“Fine! Give me that credit card.” Shinra smirked triumphantly as Izaya knelt down and began to break in to the abandoned bathroom. Once the lock clicked, he slowly opened the door to the decrepit, barely even a bathroom, bathroom.</p><p>He walked in as Shinra closed the door, “So, what’s the stupid wise-tale again?”</p><p>“The legend says that you walk to the end of the stalls and back to the entrance twice while repeating the phrase, “Keep me in line, keep me in line”. When you reach the last stall the second time you have to say, “Mr. Hatsuo, I need to be punished”, and then knock four times. Is the last stall locked?”</p><p>Izaya walked over and checked, “Yeah. It looks more like a closet, Shinra.” Izaya mentioned as he noticed that this one was the only one that didn’t look like a stall.</p><p>“The door should open once you finish!” Shinra muffled completely ignoring Izaya’s comment, that or he didn’t hear him to begin with.</p><p>“What happens then?” Izaya asked as he shivered. It really was cold in here.</p><p>Shinra didn’t give him an answer. He decided to just go through the motions of the tall tale, “Hey, Izaya, you want to investigate the school’s ghost story?” He mocked as he walked back for the second time, “It will be fun, but you’re going to do the fun part! Lucky you!” He mumbled the words, “keep me in line”, as he reached the final stall. He sighed to get the anxiety off of his chest, “This is nothing, Izaya. It’s just a stupid game. Like…Bloody Mary.” </p><p>He took a deep breath before speaking, “Mr. Hatsuo…I need to be punished,” and then knocked four times. He tried to open the previously locked door…</p><p>It opened.</p><p>He gasped, “I can’t believe that worked…”</p><p>Izaya suddenly felt an aggressive shove on his back as he fell into the abandoned stall in the darkness. He heard a large clang as he saw the door was bolted shut. He got up and brushed himself off as he tried to open the door. It didn’t budge. He shook it more aggressively and still nothing.</p><p>“Ha ha, Shinra. Very funny. Now, open the door.” He was greeted with silence, “Hello? Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, you can release your prisoner!” He banged on the door, </p><p>“Shinra!” And then his breath caught in his throat.</p><p>He was heavy. Legs like weights and arms of lead. The temperature dropped significantly and made you feel like you were in the arctic. Izaya could see his breath. The scary thing was that his breath wasn’t the only breath he could see.</p><p>He swallowed the knot hard as he noticed the white cloud misting over his shoulder. He shivered as pure heaviness pressed him against the door, completely immobile. There was no other way to describe the feeling as other than air fondling his body.</p><p>He swatted the air away as they crawled up his waist and snaked around his shoulders, “Shinra!” He screamed as he shoved himself into a corner, kicking away the molesting wind. It felt like spiders crawling up your spine. “Shinra, help!” He called out into the darkness as he coiled around himself. Izaya shook in fear as a dark specter with crimson, blood-shot eyes molded into shape, straddling his thin waist. He tried to yell as murky claws twisted around his neck in a tight, vicious chokehold.</p><p>He tore right through the misty shadows and at his own neck as he attempted to get air. Izaya felt the pain of the scratches on his neck as the red-eyed demon glared back at him lustfully. He began to see spots dance over its shadowy figure before he blacked out.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Izaya woke up gasping for air. He frantically looked around at his surroundings and saw that he had passed out at his kitchen counter. He groaned and rubbed at his eyes; he hadn’t had a dream like that in years. In fact, he usually didn’t remember his dreams or nightmares. He supposed that was due to his insomnia all together.</p><p>Izaya jumped from his seat when a loud knock boomed at his door. He sighed and looked at the clock; it was five in the morning. Who could possibly be here so early?<br/>He stumbled over to open the door and was surprised by who was there, “Shiki-san?” He also noticed a small girl with blonde hair glued to his boss’s side. She stared at him and he gaped equally confused at her presence.</p><p>“Good morning, Orihara.” He took a quick once over of Izaya and followed his gaze, seemingly unimpressed, “Bad time?”</p><p>Izaya was suddenly self-conscious, but pushed it aside and put on a mask, “Of course not. What can I do for you?”</p><p>“I expect to be let in.”</p><p>He raised a brow as Shiki walked into the apartment with the little girl, “Is it that urgent?”</p><p>“It’s a private matter and requires secrecy.”</p><p>He nodded and went to make Shiki the same tea he always drinks when he’s over, “I see. Does it have anything to do with the girl?” He asked nonchalantly.</p><p>“What girl?”</p><p>Izaya shrugged as he stirred the cup and sat it down in front of the man, “The one you brought with you, Shiki-san.”</p><p>Suddenly, Shiki banged his fists on the table, spilling the tea. “Your nonsense is exhausting. I do not have time for your insignificant games, Orihara.”</p><p>Izaya stayed still but swallowed thickly as he realized his mistake. He stared directly at the girl standing over Shiki’s shoulder, “My apologies, Shiki-san. I was merely breaking the tension.”</p><p>He huffed disapprovingly as he pulled out a cigarette, “I thought you didn’t drink, Orihara.”</p><p>“I beg your pardon?”</p><p>He gestured to the forgotten cup and now empty bottle on the counter. “If you’re hungover, Orihara, perhaps I shall take my business elsewhere.”</p><p>He chuckled despite his discomfort, “That won’t be necessary. I can guarantee decent work no matter the request.”</p><p>“I don’t want decent. I want efficient and accurate.” He handed him a file and Izaya began to flip through the pages as Shiki started explaining his job. “Recently we had this woman steal some very pertinent information from us. We need her found and brought to us.”</p><p>“What kind of information are we talking about here?”</p><p>“She knows every member of the Awakusu-kai and all of its connected business operations.”</p><p>“I see…that is quite pertinent information…”</p><p>“I want you find out everything you can about her and the body.”</p><p>Izaya put his hand up, “Wait a minute, body? You mean to tell me she’s dead? What’s the point in all of this then? It’s not like she can tell anybody.”</p><p>“She could have told anybody before she was killed.”</p><p>“Great. Now she’s a murder victim.”</p><p>“Just track her and eliminate anybody that would have found out.”</p><p>He laughed, “No offense, Shiki-san, but this sounds like a mission for your goons. Not an informant like myself.”</p><p>“You find that body and anybody connected to it, or you can expect consequences. Am I being clear, Orihara?”</p><p>He smiled, “Crystal, sir.” And with that, Shiki got up and left the informant alone, except now the small girl was with him.</p><p>He glared at the figure, “Who are you supposed to be?” The girl said nothing and walked around his couch to sit in the corner. Izaya observed this figure as it sat. She was petite, and bloated, with a little white dress and a pinky bow tying up her blonde hair. She wasn’t wearing any shoes and her skin was sickly pale, translucent. Icy blue veins were sketched on her skin and her lips were purple. The most frightening characteristic were eyes. They were bulbous, glassy, and completely bloodshot. Her pupils were gray and cloudy; it made her look like a sunken, dead fish in a swamp.</p><p>Izaya didn’t like it at all.</p><p>“I’m not sure why I didn’t notice you were a ghost sooner. It must be the hangover.” She stared at him blankly with her dead eyes and said nothing as he took a sip of his now stale tea. “How old are you? Around seven or eight, probably?” The little girl tipped her head and Izaya could feel his eye twitching at his discomfort toward the child. He stood up abruptly, “I have work to do. Stop staring at me, freak.” Izaya had not even taken four steps before another knock erupted at his door, startling him and making him jump. He looked to the door and then to the girl, “…stop looking at me like that.”</p><p>Izaya made his way to the door and was shocked by who he saw standing there, “Shizu-chan?”</p><p>The blonde growled as his partner spoke up to keep the peace, “Good morning, Orihara-san. We apologize if we woke you.”</p><p>“Bold of you to assume I was asleep, Tom-san.” </p><p>“Your demeanor is different. Perhaps we could come back later?”</p><p>“Nonsense. I am just shocked is all.”</p><p>“I’ll keep it brief, so we don’t disrupt your morning, or destroy your complex.” Tom added as Shizuo’s ever thinning patience was becoming more evident.</p><p>Izaya smirked at his anger and turned his focus back to Tom, “Would you like to discuss this inside?”</p><p>“Sure. Come on, Shizuo.” Izaya chuckled to himself as the blonde followed his mentor. It reminded him of a dog to its owner. He closed the door behind them and followed them in. </p><p>“So, what can I do for the gentleman and his beastly pet? Don’t smoke in here.”</p><p>“If you don’t want your femur up your ass I am going to fucking smoke.” Shizuo seethed.</p><p>“Fair enough.”</p><p>The silence that followed was quite uncomfortable before Tom cleared his throat, adequately catching the raven’s attention. “Look, I’m not sure how long we can stay before his fuse blows. We came strictly on business.”</p><p>He laughed, “Your company needs my help? I thought they saw me as shady and unreliable? Not to mention, how did they put it? Pompous.”</p><p>“We’re coming to you on our own accord. They don’t know we’re asking for your assistance.”</p><p>Izaya rose an intrigued brow, “Oh? How did you convince Shizu-chan to do this? His hatred is more than skin deep.”</p><p>He chuckled uncomfortably, “It was as difficult as you’d assume it to be.”</p><p>Shizuo made a disgusted face, “Your place stinks.”</p><p>“That’s very rude of you to say, Shizu-chan. It smells just fine.”</p><p>“It reeks of you.”</p><p>“And now cigarette smoke.” Tom put a hand on the blonde’s shoulder as he clenched his fists and grit his teeth.</p><p>“Why don’t you take a seat and let me handle this? Don’t do something you’ll regret.”</p><p>Shizuo grumbled to himself before trudging over to where the little girl was sitting.</p><p>A shockwave of anxiety surged through Izaya, “Don’t sit there!” Everyone in the room paused and stared at him like deer in headlights. He stuttered, “Uh, I-I don’t want Shizu-chan in my house, let alone ruining my stuff!”</p><p>“Damn, flea, fine! Jesus Christ!”</p><p>“Just pull out another cancer stick or something. I’m sure you have plenty.”</p><p>“I smoked three packs already! I’m fucking out!”</p><p>Izaya cringed, “You are going to die incredibly young.”</p><p>“I’d still have them if I didn’t have to deal with this!”</p><p>Tom stepped in nervously, “Alright, let’s all just calm down. Orihara-san, we need you to find one of our clients.”</p><p>“Isn’t that a part of your “collector” label? It’s a DIY kind of thing?”</p><p>Shizuo’s fury began to seep through the cracks as he impulsively slammed his fist against the coffee table, cracking the glass, “Stop speaking in tongues, dammit!” </p><p>“Please, Shizu-chan, not in front of the kids.” He had said it jokingly, but that only got him more estranged glances.</p><p>“Why the fuck are you such a freak?!”</p><p>He scoffed as the girl stared at him judgmentally, “Learn to take a joke, Shizu-chan. This is why you and I can’t get along. You have no sense of humor.”</p><p>“It’s more than that, you little shit!”</p><p>“Alright, why don’t we just cut to the chase so nothing else gets destroyed, yeah? Enough fun and games, just tell me who you need me to find.”</p><p>The little girl got up at that and slowly made her way over to Izaya’s desk.</p><p>“His name is Karo Suzuki. We had a run in with him a month ago and we gave him an extension to give us the money. Since then we’ve tried contacting him multiple times, we’ve called him, left emails, and even tried his house. This guy has gone completely off the radar.” Tom said as Izaya took notes in his computer.</p><p>The girl stood directly beside Izaya. He could feel her beady eyes boring into his soul. “So, you want me to find a missing person.” He inwardly sighed at the notion of having to find another missing person. First, the woman, now this? “Give me a good reason why I should help you.”</p><p>“As I said before, this is business. There are no hard feelings involved, but you could think of it as payment for always pestering Shizuo.”</p><p>“What a rude assumption.”</p><p>“You’re getting paid regardless.”</p><p>He smirked, “Consider it done.” He shook Tom’s hand as the girl took hold of his shirt, “Pleasure doing business, Tom-san.”</p><p>The man nodded and began to take his leave, “Well, we won’t take up anymore of your morning, Orihara-san.”</p><p>He walked them to the door and the girl stopped yanking on his clothes to go to the kitchen. “Business is business and I was already awake. Your only mistake was bringing an animal in here. They don’t allow pets in this building.” Shizuo broke and grabbed his side lamp to chuck it across the room. A cringy shatter resonated throughout the apartment, but it happened before the lamp left Shizuo’s hands. The two stared at each other equally confused that the sound wasn’t caused by one of them. They both turned to the kitchen behind him and noticed the abandoned, empty bottle of alcohol destroyed on the ground. The little girl standing above it, but only he could see her.</p><p>“Heh, it must have been too close to the edge,” even though he knew it hadn’t been, “how careless of me!” Shizuo stared at him for a long, awkward minute before he smashed the lamp anyway. He jumped at the sound, but recovered quickly, “Oh, come on now. That was a gift.”</p><p>Tom sighed, “We’ll pay for the damages. Honestly, it went better than I expected.” As they walked into the hallway and Izaya was about to shut the door, Shizuo stuck his foot in.</p><p>He looked up at the blonde as he glared down, “You need to call an exterminator or something. It smells like something fucking died in there.”</p><p>Izaya was officially annoyed, “There’s nothing wrong with my apartment, Shizu-chan. I would know.”</p><p>He huffed in aggravation, “Whatever! Drown in your infestation, or whatever the fuck is permeating that moldy smell!” Izaya rolled his eyes as he slammed the door and heard another crash in the hallway.</p><p>He turned to the little girl angrily, “What the hell are you doing? You don’t live here, and I don’t even know you! Just because I can see you doesn’t mean I’m going to tolerate this poltergeist shit you just pulled!”</p><p>The girl glared and pointed to her mouth as a gurgling moan escaped her.</p><p>He was officially creeped out, “What? You can’t speak?” She shook her head as more gurgling noises left her body. </p><p>Disgusted, he scoffed and went to clean up the mess, “If you’re going to be one of those attention seeking whores I don’t want you here.” The girl started jumping up and down, “What do you want?!”</p><p>She gurgled frustratedly and wobbled to the door and pointed.</p><p>Izaya was confused, “I’m not asking you to stay. You can leave whenever.” She shook her bulbous head and motioned glasses and a cigarette. Then she pretended to get angry and banged on the wall. “Are you talking about Shizu-chan?” She nodded. “What about him?”<br/>The little blonde girl started sniffing around and made a disgusted face. Izaya groaned, “Yeah, he was complaining about that.” She shook her head and started pointing to herself dramatically. Izaya sighed, “Little girl, I have no idea what you’re trying to tell me. Here, write it down.”</p><p>He handed the girl some sticky notes and a pen as she eagerly scribbled down some hints. It was hardly decipherable because she didn’t have a grasp on the solid objects. They were going right through her.</p><p>He needed to thing of something else, “Here, wait. What if you wrote on a fogged mirror? Would that be easier?” She nodded and he went to quickly turn on the guest shower to the hottest setting. The room fogged up rather quickly and the little girl quickly went to work.</p><p>When she was finished the mirror read, ‘He sees me’.</p><p>Izaya felt a chill. “He sees you?”</p><p>She nodded and drew something underneath it, ‘Like you’. A shiver ran up Izaya’s body.</p><p>Could Shizuo have been commenting on the smell of her and not realizing it? That would make sense. He only commented on it when she was close to him. Maybe Izaya wasn’t crazy, maybe he wasn’t the only one.</p><p>Maybe, just maybe, Shizuo was sensitive just like him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ooooooh, some good stuff is happening, no?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Woot! Here is the fourth chapter! I'm honestly surprised by how many of you like this considering it was a self-indulgent affair. I don't even know where this is going, I'm just making it up as I go! Whoops! This one isn't very interesting, but it's about to...DUN DUN DUN.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His senses have always been stronger than others and it was triggered by his adrenaline rush from when he tried to throw a  fridge at his younger brother. Before then he couldn’t tell you the difference between a rose and a trashcan, now he could list every spice you used in a fucking cookie. Nobody knew what was wrong with him, so he decided not to question the changes any further than the doctors could explain through their tests. It’s not like it particularly bothered him. There were other things that pissed him off more than the whiff of coriander and ginger wafting from a diner, miles away, through smoke and gasoline that he passed on the street. He had better things to do with his time, like beat up thugs, and get fired from a plethora of unimpressive jobs.</p><p>The smell that always set him off, however, was that damned flea.</p><p>Before he had even set eyes on the squinty-eyed freak his nose flared with disgust and deep guttural rage. Celty had told him that she didn’t understand how he could identify Izaya solely by his stench alone, to which he commented that she had no nose. However, it occurred to him that Izaya was not as obviously repulsive as Shizuo deemed him to be. Others found his cunning intelligence interesting and his stupid, annoying, perfect face charming. That sneer others dared call a smile was sinister and his gleaming red eyes held nothing but mischief. Shizuo did not understand how people couldn’t see off the bat that he was evil. They had the rumors, he had a reputation, yet people still trusted him. Fucking ludicrous.</p><p>He supposed he could understand where they were coming from. It was pretty strange that Izaya was so recognizable. Everyone had a smell, sure, but Izaya was different. He couldn’t identify other people from the other side of the city, so why was Izaya so pungent? He was probably just paranoid with his presence.</p><p>“You know, his place was very nice.” Tom interrupted his thoughts.</p><p>The blonde grumbled to himself, “Wonderful for you to point out.”</p><p>“What I meant was that you were a bit out of line back there.”</p><p>“In what way?!”</p><p>“I didn’t smell anything in that place. Nothing but your smoke maybe.”</p><p>“It’s just him. You know I can’t stand him.”</p><p>“Right, his smell sets you off.”</p><p>“It does! That’s not bullshit.”</p><p>“You were over dramatic.”</p><p>“He started it!”</p><p>“What does he smell like to you, exactly?”</p><p>Shizuo paused; he hadn’t really tried to pinpoint it before. “I…I don’t know. It’s not something specific, it’s different factors and not all of them are a thing you can smell.”</p><p>“I’m afraid I’m not sure what you mean.”</p><p>“So, when I catch his smell I get an overwhelming sense of anger. It’s like if colors and negativity had a scent it would be him. It’s red, ugly, and just dark and shitty. He smells like the worst kind of person, but there is always something different.”</p><p>“Different?”</p><p>“Yeah, like there’s his smell and then there would be…I don’t know…cinnamon. I smelled that once around him.”</p><p>“Really? Did you ever think that maybe that’s because he is a normal person that uses normal things like, I don’t know, spices, for example?”</p><p>“It’s not the same. I know what that smells like, and on him it’s always faded. The flea is like a spider web. Icky, sticky, and nobody likes to get stuck in it, but the other scents cling to him and just follow him wherever he goes. I hate it.”</p><p>Tom sighed, “I’m not sure I understand, but I’ll take your word for it.”</p><p>Shizuo wasn’t sure if he knew what he meant either. Having to describe how Izaya made him feel was like asking a fish how it felt about land. It wouldn’t fucking know and neither does he. </p><p>	When he met the stupid flea, it was hate at first sight. Hate at first smell even. After destroying the court, he remembers the scent of stale embers, the end of a fire, and the odor of red iron was so loud it sent shivers through his skin. If electrocuting yourself in an outlet had a smell that is what it was in that moment, but not just the burn of skin, it was the shock itself. It irritated him that it tickled his nerves.</p><p>“I don’t like you.” He had said before he had even fully turned around to acknowledge who he already knew was a brat.</p><p>“Oh yeah?” The ebony-haired jerk gleamed at his comment. “That’s too bad. I was hoping you and I could have some fun together.”</p><p>“What was that?” And it was that smirk, the foxy, Cheshire smirk that set him off. He had tried to punch him, but then he had shattered the wood beneath and completely missed the jumpy bitch. He had been too quick and before he knew it there was a cut across his chest.</p><p>“See? This is fun, isn’t it?” Then much to Shinra’s dismay, they started a daily trend of chasing each other like a game of cat and mouse. All Shizuo wanted to do was kill him, was it too much to ask? </p><p>	Izaya groaned and banged his head on his desk table. Sometimes he really wanted to die. This task was nearly impossible to achieve, and he was usually very efficient at doing the impossible. This woman he was supposed to find had no name, no identity, absolutely no trace of her. The only thing that was in the file Shiki gave him was what she took, but nobody had anything else to identify her. It was like this woman never existed, like she was a ghost.<br/>
“Ugh. I don’t suppose you know anything about this woman?” He asked the girl sitting strangely underneath his desk. She looked up at him with those blank, grey eyes and he shivered. He shouldn’t have a little creepy ghost girl underneath his desk. That was a horror story waiting to be written. “You know what, nevermind. Go back to staring out the window and don’t look at me anymore.”</p><p>Izaya’s phone dinged. He looked down at it and groaned, “Shit.” He rubbed his eyes exhaustedly as the large 9:00 blared in bright lights. When he turned on his chair the little girl was creepily standing over his shoulder.</p><p>He screamed, “Fucking hell! Don’t do that!” Izaya could see right through the blonde-haired, used to be, blue-eyed girl. It was like looking through a heatwave. “Move out of my way. I have to take my medicine.” The little girl cocked her head to the side and stepped to the left of his desk. She then followed him upstairs to his bedroom. “No. You cannot come with me. You’re a ghost, you walk through walls. I get it, but I like my privacy.”  To his surprise, the ghost girl respected his wishes. That was a first.</p><p>Izaya walked into the bathroom and promptly washed off his face with lukewarm tap water. He tried to avoid looking at his reflection in the mirror. It’s not that he didn’t like how he looked, he didn’t have a problem with that at all, not really. He didn’t even understand the purpose of mirrors. You’re going to look exactly the same as you always have, why do you need a reminder? The man pulled out some orange pill bottles from his drawer and routinely popped the tabs to get his recommended dosage, and then a little extra for the proper dose he knew he needed. The recommended dosage is recommended for a reason, right? He personally didn’t think he needed three different medications, well, he needed the one, but that one wasn’t prescribed. He knew what his body needed and two medications to treat anxiety and depression were not it. How can you treat something you didn’t have? But Shinra insisted, so he might as well humor his childhood acquaintance. He should stop taking them just to spite him.</p><p>He chuckled humorlessly as he popped a few more pills just for good measure.</p><p>As he began to feel lethargic and lightheaded he decided he should take up the job the next day. He hadn’t slept very well the last few days and if he felt like he was going to pass out he might as well take advantage of it. Izaya trudged out of the restroom, shutting off the light as he went out, but he didn’t bother with the door. He shrugged off his jeans but didn’t bother with the shirt. All of them looked the same. Who was going to notice? He shut off the light and plopped onto his far-to-expensive bed, hearing the headboard bump and the springs creak at his sudden weight. Izaya was about to drunkenly slip into unconsciousness before he remembered a very important part of his night routine…</p><p>He forgot to lock his bedroom door.</p><p>He groaned and lazily flipped off of his bed and slogged to the door beside him. There was a shadow under the door that was blocking the light from outside.<br/>

“Hey,” he slurred overcome with exhaustion, “Not that it matters, but I’m going to sleep. Leave or stay. I don’t care. Just don’t creepily stand in front of the door.” With that he turned the lock and tested to see it was secured. He was satisfied to see the shadow shift away from the door.<br/>

Feeling as reassured as he can be, Izaya flopped back onto his chunky bed with a soft thump and drifted immediately into blackness.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Feel free to give me some of your feedback! I love criticism. It grates my cheese. HIT ME LIKE A TON OF BRICKS. I can take the heat.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is another flashback! Basically, if you haven't caught on, whenever Izaya falls asleep it is most likely going to be a dream, vision, or nightmare. <br/>Also, sorry I haven't uploaded. I just finished school for the semester, so I should be able to write more frequently!<br/>WARNING: this chapter could contain things that are triggering, like abuse and etc. Just be aware. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Izaya was a strange kid growing up. He assumed that was the reason Shinra was so obsessed with him. He had figured out early on that the bespectacled child might’ve been weirder than him. He was sure that Shinra had thought the same about him.</p><p>“So, hey,” Shinra began as they sat in the biology room twiddling their thumbs, “I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”</p><p>“Must be serious if you’re asking me for permission first.” He joked as he flipped to the next page of the book he was reading.</p><p>“What is that supposed to mean?” Shinra pouted even though they both knew exactly what he was talking about. The boy was nosey and didn’t have an eye for privacy. He wasn’t the type that you told secrets to, that you wanted to keep secret. “Whatever. I just wanted to ask you about what happened last week.”</p><p>Izaya said nothing as he continued to read.</p><p>Shinra prodded on, “You do remember going to the basement, right? Of the school?”</p><p>“I do.” He answered cryptically.</p><p>He seemed hesitant, “Well, it was all fun and games until you came running out of their screaming like a banshee! You never told me what happened!”</p><p>He turned another page, “I told you, I don’t remember. I fainted and suddenly I was at your house.”</p><p>“You don’t remember banging on the door, breaking the mirrors, and screaming bloody murder? I’m not joking, Izaya, you really freaked me out! You didn’t sound like you.”</p><p>Izaya sighed and closed his book, “I don’t know what you want from me, Kishitani.”</p><p>“An explanation would be nice! I mean, you were hysterical and a completely different person!” He paused and appeared lost in thought. Almost as if he had something to say, a secret, or pertinent information about that night that he hadn’t told him before.</p><p>Izaya didn’t want to admit it, but he was nervous. “What is it?”</p><p>Shinra took in a shaky breath, “Do you remember that bruise? The one on my neck that I had the next morning?”</p><p>The raven gulped, “Yeah, you said that you had fallen.”</p><p>“Well…that’s not what happened…”</p><p>Izaya became livid, “Was it your father again?”</p><p>Shinra looked up surprised, “What?” </p><p>“The last time you “fell” Shingen had ended up hitting you with a flask.”</p><p>“No, no…not this time.”</p><p>Izaya leaned back, “Then what was it really? Who did that to you?”</p><p>“…you did.”</p><p>His mouth went dry and the blood drained from his face, “…what?”</p><p>“When you were banging on the door, it was so scary I thought something had happened to you! Then when I managed to get the door open you threw me against the wall!”</p><p>He couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “I did that to you?”</p><p>“Izaya, I’m not a professional or anything, but I think there is something wrong with you.”</p><p>“No, you’re wrong—”</p><p>“It could’ve been an act of impulse, maybe you were experiencing hallucinations or some sort of hysteria, because I don’t have another explanation for why you did it other than that you must’ve thought I was someone else.”</p><p>“Shinra, no. There’s nothing wrong with me. Nothing that obvious anyhow.” Shinra gave him a worrisome look and suddenly Izaya’s mind was at a crossroad. The first path was familiar; it was straight and clear, and he knew it would be an easy walk in the park. However, the first path always led him someplace he didn’t want to be and always stabbed him in the back. It was the path of lies and consequences, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to take that chance with his only friend. The second path was jagged and broken, yet a road he rarely traveled. It would be hard at first, but the chances of being accepted with his truth were 50/50.  It used to be a hundred, but the one time he traveled the road of truth, he regretted it. He never traveled it again.</p><p>He had to take his chances and take the short cut in the middle of the two, “Shinra, there are a lot of things you don’t know about me, some of which you’ll never find out…but, maybe one day I’ll tell you. I just can’t right now.”</p><p>Shinra didn’t know how to respond to that, but Izaya remembered him smiling and saying, “Don’t worry. I understand. Just know that if you need anything, just call, yeah?”</p><p>“Yeah, sure.” He lied through his teeth.</p><p>           Izaya and Shinra had a complex, unique relationship. They were both outsiders, freaks, had weird hobbies, and they both came from abusive households and didn’t acknowledge the fact that it was happening…but that wasn’t important. A grain of salt.</p><p>They related to each other and felt protective of one another because of these unfortunate circumstances they shared. Of course, only Izaya knew of this similarity. <br/>Shinra and most everyone else was oblivious to Izaya’s peculiar situation.</p><p>When Izaya walked into his house the first thing he noticed was that it was quiet. That was never a good sign. He silently shut the door, trying to prevent the click of the lock from sounding throughout the house. As soon as it was shut, he quickly looked from side to side: nothing in the kitchen, nothing in the living room, and nothing in the hallway in front of him. Father and mother weren’t home yet. If he went upstairs now he might be able to miss them. Izaya quickly began to make his way upstairs when the back door slammed shut.</p><p>“Izaya?” He froze on the steps. “Are you home?”</p><p>He swallowed, “Yes, father. I was just going upstairs.”</p><p>His father came into view below the steps, a strong frown and heavy, dark circles that rivaled the color of his hair present on his solemn face. “What are you going upstairs for?”</p><p>“I have homework to do.” He easily lied, “I have to get started on it.”</p><p>His father inspected him intensely. A sour glare settling in his murky eyes. “Why don’t you stay down here? We can work on it together.”</p><p>Izaya’s anxiety spiked, “No, that’s ok. It’s not that hard. I can do it on my own.”</p><p>His face contorted dangerously, “You don’t think I can do it?”</p><p>The raven nervously gripped his schoolbag, “No, I—”</p><p>“You don’t, huh? You’ve always been closer to your mother. I’m sure you and she think exactly alike.” </p><p>He wasn’t yelling…not yet. His tone was precarious and Izaya could hear the ticks of the bomb that was about to go off.</p><p>“No way! I’ve always liked you better—”</p><p>“Don’t lie to me you little cretin! You favor her because she babies you! Like you don’t already know the truth of what the fuck you are.” This wasn’t good. “You can’t even help but be a disgrace. Maybe that’s why she pities you! You were born a stigma!” The father shot him a viciously, red look.</p><p>Izaya bolted up the stairs as fast as he could as he heard the booming stomps of his father behind him. He was right on his tail, but Izaya had too much experience with running away. He threw himself into his bedroom and slammed the door shut, pulling his desk in front of the door. His door didn’t have a lock.</p><p>The door creaked underneath the power of his fathers fists, a deafening pounding shaking the stiff wood and the middle school boy in the room. Izaya didn’t have any place to hide; no closet, no nothing. So, he did what any frightened, distressed child would do, he hid under his blanket.<br/>It was childish, sure. Degrading, immature, foolish, humiliating…but when his father was screaming at the top of lungs, shouting profanities and the perpetual fear of the door letting in the heartless beast breaking it down, the best he could do was shut his eyes, cover his ears, and hope that he doesn’t get in this time. Maybe, if he were lucky, he could be asleep before the inevitable comes.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This was different for me to write. I've never written something this dark before, so let me know how it was! Also, thank you to everyone who gives comments! I read all of them and they really make my day!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Just an Update</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hey, this isn't a new chapter, but I just wanted to update everyone that has been reading this that I am aware that it has been a while, but I am just so uninspired for everything. With school, work, and the pandemic, there is a lot going on.  I will continue this eventually, but if I'm not inspired I am not satisfied with my writing. I'm like Hamilton, except...not. XD I promise I will get back to this. Thank you for patiently waiting and I appreciate everyone's support with the story!</p>
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